On Being at a Loss

Bright and colorless

Vibrancy in reach

Frozen in th'moment.

Torn and full taken

Dignity feels lost

No one can steal it.

Loved and desperate

Acceptance ungrasped.

Hard to understand.

Hate and forgiveness

unease and belief

Time makes you his friend.

On A Moment's Feelings

Wind whistling, Rain splashing, Tears streaming, Love wanting.

Soul searching, Trust hurting, Fear creeping, Truth burning.

Inconstant, Unnerving, Impatient, Disturbing.

Unfocused, Alarming, Approaching, Disarming.

~Joie Versaer Dantia (July 2010)

On Trust and Respect

Respect. I trusted for respect.

But I trusted ignorantly.

I trusted unwisely.

And he raped me.

Poor, foolish choices

led to stolen virginity,

and yet, it was no fault of

those choices.

It was no fault of mine.

Because those poor, foolish choices

were made out of trust.

Out of trusting for respect.

But I trusted ignorantly.

I trusted unwisely.

And he raped me.

Proud, selfish choices

let to stealing virginity,

and how, could he think it was

his choice

to take that myst'ry from me?

Because those poor, foolish choices

were made out of trust.

Out of trusting for respect.

But he took advantage of me.

I trusted unwisely.

And he raped me.

It might take a while to deal with the pain.

With the shame.

With the guilt that doesn't belong to me,

but that I carry regardless.

It might take a while to deal with the shock

With the talking

About my feelings and what actually happened,

but I will stay calm and fearless

Because my poor, foolish choices

were just that:

Poor foolish choices.

They did not sleep with chastity,

They did not grope for sex.

It was the thief. It was the thief

that took my virginity from me.

And left me disrespected.

Left me defiled.

Left me marred.

Respect. I trusted for respect.

But I trusted ignorantly.

I trusted unwisely.

And he raped me.

He raped me.
~Joie Versaer Dantia (June 2010)

On Pain and Reality

The pain,
  Oh the pain of death,
  Which trickles into souls~
      Where dusty worlds
          lie yet undiscovered,
      Where man and boy
          rock in each other's arms,
          becoming one in grief~
  Where life and death
      Become blatent reality
      And all else fades
         in worth and value~
  Where the observer looks on
      in confusion
           and in disillusionment
     searching to uncover the same
           vision of reality,
     but refusing to visit
          those same dusty worlds
          of unwanted pain
          which unlock the eyes
          and reveal reality
as it truly is.
    ~Joie Versaer Dantia (February 2010)

On the Music of Fear

Fear chokes believing~
And whilst it works its murderous deeds,
It sings a ballad of lost love
and unfaithful lovers
in the promise of current and future
love's end.

Each time Fear's song begins,
pain and anguish and hidden feelings
Float along the staves of air
and plot each note
along the way.

Fear is the world's greatest composer
Its love song is its masterpiece--
touching the hearer in the deepest part of his soul--
leaving the child in frozen awe,
the woman in heightened tears,
and the man in certain skepticism.

Yes, it weaves its melody
through mountains and valleys,
through cities and countryside,
it walks on the ocean and dances in the street
and rubs its hands in gleeful anticipation
at the birth of new unknowns.
~Joie Versaer Dantia

On Waiting

Winter, yearning for the sun
  Wades through ice and storm
With frost-bitten toes, but not
  Without reason;
Waiting for life, for flowers, for
  Water to move and caress
         Once again.
Waiting for lovers to see
      Light and beauty,
        To feel
Warmth and breeze
        To taste the dew
        To smell the freshness of the air.
To know love, and to know it well.
        To seek,
        To believe,
        To hope.
Oh, to hope and to dream
And to awaken in reality shaped as that dream.
         To kiss a butterfly's wing
and to soak up a field of flowers
         To run,
         To dance.

To be free.  To be free.

To taste the sweetness of love.
To drink in endless intimacy.
To know--Not to think--But to know.
~Joie Versaer Dantia

On Listening

Their spirits swam round me in deafening silence,
And I begged, I begged to break free.
Striving and searching and wailing and creeping
In realms that are hidden, unseen.
Confusion, confusion of time and of place
And of mind and of soul that combine
In thinking and hating and loving and seeking
In entrance of realms without time.
And I, oft alone, watch reality fight
Against cold, crying realms for desire.
But none seem to see or believe what I know
Of the spirits, silent, on fire.
~Joie Versaer Dantia